Dream Girl: Be Brave and Finish Strong

Bubbling Brooke is almost 1!! Last weekend I spent about two hours reading all my posts and just reveling in the fact that in this short time I have experienced so many incredible moments. I am thankful for the highs and the lows.  I sat on my couch reading and cheering myself on as if it were my very first time seeing those words! It is such an amazing feeling knowing that I have been able to accomplish something so meaningful. It is safe to say I’ve been living. There’s no better testament to that than the daily battles we endure. What started as me simply wanting to engage in something that would be therapeutic for me, has turned into so much more than I could’ve ever imagined. I’ve always prayed to be strong and very courageous in my life. but fell short on may occasions. I want to fully trust God with my insecurities and fears. I want to write transparently and fearlessly. My one goal for 2017 was to be BRAVE! Brave enough to not fear being misunderstood. That was one of my biggest fears prior to sharing my words and ultimately my perspective. Truth is I have only scratched the surface. Each day I am faced with a decision to write or not to write. Most importantly I am faced with the decision to be authentically Brooke or to be molded by outside influences and discouraged by my own self-inflicted insecurities.

As young girls some of us dream of being a doctor, some dream of being a mother, and some even the President of the United States. I am no exception. I too am a Dream Girl. I used to want to be a teacher. I’ve always wanted to teach out of love but that soon faded when I realized it takes a compassionate yet emotionally strong person to teach adolescents. I’d be too invested emotionally with what a teacher experiences on a day to day basis. When I got the desire to write a book years ago I knew what I wanted to say but I didn’t know how or to whom I would share it with. My target audience was not something I even knew I needed. What I did know and what I’ve had to reaffirm in myself more frequently than I like to admit, is that I do have enough valuable words to accomplish the goal. The good news is I realize that my value is determined by me and no one else.  Designer labels do not ask the consumer what they should charge for their products so why should I wait for someone else to tell me if what I have to write is valuable or not? There’s an audience for everyone.

Throughout this journey I started realizing that with each post I was sharing contents of my “Dream Book”. Surprisingly this discouraged me from writing.  I refer to it as my “Dream Book” because that is exactly where I began pouring out the words to form the sentences which formed chapters. My daydreams consisted of chapter after chapter being written in my head. I’d fall asleep doing the same. What I failed to do was actually put them onto paper. As a result, the ideas would come and go but thankfully the desire remained. Blogging was me proving to myself that I could do it. I could actually turn my thoughts into something tangible. The feedback has been so humbling. It mostly has come from those who have known me for years and unfortunately have experienced me in the worst ways at times. To read and hear their words of encouragement and appreciation for me being myself is priceless. You cannot take for granted the willingness of those who choose to see you as a light and to embrace you as such. There is so much negativity being put out into the atmosphere and being received in people’s hearts nowadays. It’s a cold world we live in and amongst women it can be the coldest.

There are women who want to help in one way or another. It’s human nature for us to want to be used for some greater good. My Instagram feed is filled with women who have taken a leap of faith and are now being used in the most amazing ways. Sisters are being encouraged and finding themselves accomplishing their goals left and right. You go girl!! I definitely benefit from those women being willing to share their experience and expertise. On the other hand it can also leave you feeling as if there isn’t any room for you to add value. This is kind of where I still struggle with the idea of becoming an author.

In one my very first posts You Are What You Speak  I introduced #PSA (Pretty. Smart. Affirmed). It is one of those ideas that have remained throughout this journey.  It is what I feel is the best way to categorize what I want to write about: outer beauty, intellect and our significance/value. These are the areas we all are plagued with insecurity at some point in our lives. Either you’re too pretty or not pretty enough; too smart or not smart enough and lastly you’re either overcompensating for past guilt and shame or unable to see the ugliness of your ways. We are a beautiful complex work of art!

For the past three months I was faced with some tough decisions regarding making my “Dream Book” a reality. I want to write so badly but I kept finding myself in this place of uncertainty. Truthfully, I have been so uncomfortable. A constant wrestling of spirit because of me wavering from my passion and purpose now that they’ve aligned. Many of us find our purpose in our passions. They are not same thing however. One is something you do the other is someone you are. If you’re going to walk in your purpose you have to be a little selfish. You must feed the passion to fuel the purpose. I was beginning to revert back to feeling obligated to everyone else first and me second, including my corporate job. I was being drained and had no desire to write (passion). If I didn’t write there would be no “Dream Book” to encourage women to look within themselves and realize they can be brave (purpose).

Anxiety is real no matter how much our community wants to deny it but for me so is Jesus. And even still, I must do the work and keep pressing on. Regardless of who/what you believe in, we can all agree that it is a universal fact, focusing on your circumstances and trials won’t benefit you in accomplishing your goals. I choose to believe the promise! The promise is not that there will not be trials or days when I am afraid. There are going to be days when I am going full speed ahead crushing my goals. The other days consist of me running on empty and everyone is getting on my nerves. However, if I keep in mind that my writing is not for me to get the praise but it is first and foremost for God to get all the glory, I can keep a healthy perspective. There is no true purpose apart from this truth. I was hesitant to share that early on in my blogging journey. Why? I was choosing to believe the lie that said I had nothing to share that was worth God’s glory. How wrong was I?!! How could I not when the desire was never mine to begin with. The seed was planted in my heart and has been watered with each step made along my journey. Every ounce of grace and mercy I’ve been the recipient of has nourished this dream of mine up until this very moment.

As I approach this milestone year I can say that I am not just a girl with a dream to become a published author but I am brave enough to pursue it and see it through to fruition. The desire won’t fade when it is driven by faith. What I’ve come to realize is where you find perfection is in completion. Even if I stumble across the finish line, I still finished strong!

Be BRAVE!!!!!!!

B

Growing in Comfort Zones

 

As I prepare for an annual two week work trip to India that always humbles me in all things life, I wanted to be sure I got my weekly affirmation in and encouraged you all to do the same. I will be taking a much needed social media hiatus while away in order to clear up some mental space. In preparing for this I began to self-evaluate areas of growth.

I am not one who seeks out change very much. I like what I like and I do not take the time to adventure out into the unknown. If I do not feel as though I do something well enough I will not attempt it. But how do I know if I don’t even try? I don’t. However, in my latest self evaluation I realized that I get out of my comfort zone more than I give myself credit for. While I may not find ways to try new things on my own very often, I am a darn good cheerleader for others! As I began to think about how I’ve grown and how others are growing while exercising courage unknowingly despite their apprehension to get out of their comfort zone, a  highlight reel of times I’ve been able to do so by supporting someone else came to mind.

For example, a few years ago one of the most artistic women I know and friend of mine Tiffany Kowalski invited me to be a part of a project she was working on for her photography business that focused on natural hair. So, yes while I was nervous, very self-conscious and lost in this entire process I agreed. I mean who doesn’t love a good photo and plus good cheerleaders don’t miss the opportunity to cheer!

While on the subject it is confession time. One thing you all should know about me is that I have a love/hate relationship with pictures. Love them because I never want to miss a moment of joy, love, beauty. Hate because for me I just cannot get it right. This is why I have not posted very many on this blog. I’m unnecessarily critical of myself. Not because I have low self-esteem or don’t find myself to be beautiful because I do. I just do the most with pictures. It is ridiculous and tiring to be honest. I apologize for that because I do understand the importance of aesthetics in this blogging arena. I will do better. Operation “Get out of Comfort Zone” to commence. Wait for it.

Ok, fast forward to the day of the photoshoot. The vision had been stated, outfit picked out and 2 day wash-n-go was poppin! Listen, I had forgotten all about how uncomfortable I was initially with this entire idea. I was just having fun with my friend being supportive. Naturally.  All my awkwardness went out the window; I was not trying to have the perfect smile. My imperfect skin was not a factor. The sun was shining and the colors on the building were vibrant enough to brighten anyone’s day. Tiffany was working on her craft and I was stepping outside my comfort zone.

We all have different goals we want to reach, a dream we want to see to fruition and desires we hope to fulfill. This will require us to get out of our comfort zones for sure. Until I get to that space fully I have some pretty creative people in my life who bring me into their world which in return allows me to be my most authentic self. Cheering!  I am glad that I am someone who is willing to support others in their endeavors even if it means being uncomfortable. It always ends up being to my benefit.

Maybe you are like me and aren’t really good about trying new things that you’re not very confident in or wouldn’t even think of doing. I bet that there is someone in your world who is involved in something that you can support. Kill two birds with one stone and just when you think that nothing grows in a comfort zone you’ll realize that to be untrue. Who said the comfort zone had to be yours!

Weekly Affirmation:
“I will step out of my comfort zone and support others. I will embrace new opportunities to grow”

 

B

PSA | Planning Progress and Pressure

 

The past few weeks have been a blur for me. I have not gotten any type of routine down after moving out of my apartment of seven years. Although I have more space in my new home I still have not designated a “reflection area”. This is an issue for me because I produce best when I’m in my zone.  I’m easily distracted to say the least. Therefore, I must be separated from the noise. If I could improve in one area of my life it would definitely be my ability to “cancel out the noise”. Not just the volume of the television or music being played, but all the thoughts I am trying to process at one time. What I need to do at home, why I need to do it, rehearsing how I’m going to address someone, trying to determine how I’ll get all my  work done etc. Too many tabs are open at one time as they are for the majority of us women today irrespective of profession and or marital status.

My sister and a few of my friends are in the event planning business. Quite frankly, I do not see how they do it. Planning an event from start to finish, from conception to execution literally gives me anxiety. Planning is not my strongpoint. So much of who I am is being able to go with the flow even if the current suddenly changes. While this definitely has its benefits, it also makes it very difficult to stay focused on one task at a time. This blog is proving that to be even truer than I realized.  I have to be intentional about posting and what direction I want to go in. If you were to ask me what my goal is for Bubbling Brooke three , six  and nine months from now and how I plan on achieving those goals, I honestly couldn’t tell you the specifics. That’s a harsh reality but I acknowledge it so that I can overcome it. This isn’t because I do not have a vision. My vision has not changed. I started this blog with the intent to be as transparent as I can about the woman I’ve become and the journey to arrive at this point,  hoping to inspire other women along the way with hard truths, love and the joys I’ve discovered.  This will never change because it is the most authentic way I can be. What has to change is my approach or else I will not produce what I know I am capable of. I won’t’ reach the women I know need to be reached. I won’t grow in the areas where I’ve been stagnant.  Everything is resting on my ability to plan ahead and follow through.

At the same time, I cannot become so fixated on what the future will look like, that I neglect the necessary reflection on the progress I’ve already made.  Our society places so much focus on what still needs to be done. So much that we may not produce the fruit we should because we fail to see what our progress looks like. How effective can I be in the future without first recognizing what I’ve already accomplished? What am I building on? Bricks are layered not only set side by side.  When I realized my planning deficiency immediately I began setting goals. Well, the problem with that was, I didn’t know where to start. There was no flow to them. I was all over the place which was frustrating to say the least. Once I took a minute to actually put into perspective the goals I’ve already accomplished, the topics I’ve discussed and the feedback I’ve received, it became that much easier for me to set additional short-term goals.  Proper planning and progress reflection are both essential to dealing with the pressure of achieving the level of success determined by oneself .

Pressure is almost always self-inflicted initially. Outside pressure only becomes a factor when we have not taken the necessary steps towards the goal. When we’ve not done what we should have. This is true in both personal and professional areas of our lives. I find that in my professional life when I am asked to provide detail on a specific project, where I have not been as proactive as I should have been, the pressure seems to go from a normal 4 or 5 to a whole 10. Not because my boss is applying the pressure but simply because I failed to plan and assess my progress,  leaving me in a “not ready” state when asked to deliver.  Most of the time I stay on my toes though. We all know the saying “If you stay ready you won’t have to get ready”. I’ve had so many people ask me questions related to the vision tangibles of Bubbling Brooke that I was not prepared to answer. I guess part of me is surprised that I’m even being asked such specific questions like “do you plan on monetizing?”, “will you have any fashion and travel posts?”, “Will there be any features?”. Don’t get me wrong I have a constant tab open with those questions but my lack of planning, and progress assessment left me so lost. Furthermore, what I realized is that I have a responsibility to myself and those who support  me simply because they love me. As well as to those who believe in this purpose driven adventure for whatever their reason may be. It is a responsibility to see it through to fruition. To properly go about this thing with an execution that matches the passion. I thought just taking the leap was enough. I was okay with that small victory but really I was comfortable with it because it was all I was ready for.

I am totally out of my element in my house right now and in this blog arena. But at one point I am certain the butterfly must’ve thought the cocoon was the place of death. Instead we all now that its true purpose in all that makes it uncomfortable and even scary is transformation. It is beautifully designed that way as is this journey that I will continue on. Only now I know that it will require me to properly plan, evaluate my progress and handle pressure effectively so that I will stay ready.

My affirmation for the week is obvious

“I will stay ready so that I will not have to get ready”.

What are some of the ways you set goals and plan for the future?

BB