For The First Time In My Life

Since I introduced Bubbling Brooke two weeks ago, I have been filled with all kinds of emotions. I have felt everything from gratefulness to anxiety and of course a little self-doubt.  Ok maybe more than a little.

But, to keep it all the way 100 for the first time in my adult life I have felt INSPRIED.

Whether we like to admit it or not, we live in an achievement based world for validation.  When you first meet someone probably not soon after the name introductions, the question will be asked, “So, what do you do?” We answer with the excitement levels ranging from enthusiasm to straight up grunts. You can find me somewhere in the middle. Not fully enthused because I’ve always felt I was purposed to do something else besides go to work and pay bills. Let me be clear, I intentionally chose not to use the word “more” because coming from where I come from and the things I’ve done, I have achieved more than I should have and I am forever grateful. In the future I may take y’all on that journey. *Insert Hallelujah praise*

From the big screen to social media there’s someone in our face balling, beautiful or both. If we’re not careful we can succumb to the feeling of discontentment that will lead us to drift further and further away from what inspires us and ultimately who we are destined to be. By nature we’re already discontented souls but the pressures of feeling unaccomplished or undesirable in life can weigh heavy.

Don’t get me wrong, I ‘ve been interested in many things as it relates to my personal growth, career, and even health for the sake of accomplishment.  I’ve even taken steps necessary to get the ball rolling in order to pursue degrees, licenses and complete the infamous Instagram challenges. You know the ones, 21 days of being a vegan just to go eat a steak or Popeye’s on day 22.  Unfortunately, I have left every single one to roll off into the land of nowhere.

For example, in 2013 I went back like I forgot something to finish the remaining hours I needed to obtain my Cosmetology license, a journey that started in 2008.  After scoring a 92 on the Texas written exam on my first attempt I was on my way!! I was determined to finish something I had started for once. Really it was mainly because that’s what everyone said I should be doing. Which I realize now was all the reason I needed to walk away. I purchased my kit and paid for the state board practical test.  Deep inside, I knew I did not want to be a professional hairstylist if the only reason I would is because I was good at it, knowing that my heart was not in it. In all actuality I did not prefer it over my current 9 to 5.  So once again, I dropped the ball and let it roll off into the land of nowhere. Leaving me to think I was not capable of seeing something through.

That was the lie I told myself. That was the lie I believed. No one has ever told me that. All my family and friends supported me. So why did I plant that seed and water it for so long?

What I know now is there was no inspiration involved. Some people are disciplined enough to do things they may not really feel anything for. I need to feel it and feel it deeply. That’s just who I am…not how I am. For many like me, what happens is that our insecurities come block what we need from ourselves to press on after disappointment. The reason for those insecurities can be many: a past attempt that didn’t work out, a person whose words left a scar or maybe something you’ve done in the past that you have not forgiven yourself for. These are lies and we must stop believing them.

I had to stop believing the lies I told myself in order to start this journey. I’ve learned to take three actions towards overcoming the lies I believed:

1. Identify the lie: we speak obvious lies over ourselves daily. Some in fun, others not even realizing it. Whatever the lie is, be honest with yourself and call it out!!!
2. Replace the lie with truth: It may be awkward at first but once you begin to speak out loud the truth it becomes second nature. Who cares if people think you’re talking to yourself… YOU ARE!!!
3. Affirm the truth daily: Find a quote, a bible verse or maybe even a compliment someone gave you! Write it down in a journal, on the mirror or set a reminder on your phone. Whatever you do get into the habit of speaking positive affirmations. What I love about affirmations is they can be anything!!! My personal affirmation this week is

“Bubbling Brooke is MINE. My concrete Rose for all to see”

Did me realizing I was telling myself lies happen overnight? Nope? Will there be others that surface? You better know it! Am I having to daily be intentional about replacing the lie with truth? All day every day!

With all the love I’ve received just for taking the step I would be foolish to not equip myself for the criticism and the doubts and even insults that can easily plant a seed of insecurity.  One thing I know for sure is that I worked extremely hard to mature into who I am today. I fought myself for that realization.

#PSA No validation needed!!

The women we are today and are becoming is not for anyone else to validate based upon what we have accomplished, or how many mistakes we’ve made or how we look. It is not wrapped up in what we do or do not possess. As the days continue I gain more confidence because this is more than a blog! This is a victory and while I know there are many out there, doing and saying similar things. That’s irrelevant!  Bubbling Brooke will look like me, what I post will sound like me and overall the entire vibe will love like me. I am not striving for perfection but it will be done with excellence and as I grow, so will it!

I now know that what inspires you will drive you! There is absolutely nothing else for it to do. So when the lie surfaces I’ll be ready!

Leave a comment with your affirmation for the week!! I’d love to read them!!

 

BB