Everyone’s an expert until it’s time to start living

A few years ago I posted this on IG

“I survived everything that was meant to kill me. Now I know I can make it”.

Fast forward to 2017 and I’m still surviving the attacks on my life. I’ve been fortunate enough to not have experienced some near death experience yet that I am aware of. I say that because I know each day I am protected from the unseen wars against my life. We all are.

Nevertheless, there have been many of those seemingly insignificant circumstances that we downplay as just being a part of life that could’ve resulted in a loss of life. There are goals that have not manifested, my heart being broken, a friendship that ended that I never thought would, add to that my self-inflicted pain from my own poor choices. The list can go on and on. What I’ve learned is that these are the attacks on my life and others that are continual and so many of us do not realize just how much surviving we’re doing. And yet, surviving is not enough.

This then results in us living a life that does not consist of much living at all. That is the goal of the enemy of our souls, for us to be alive but to not LIVE. Not live in a sense of being wreck less but intentional about living life abundantly fearless. It is for us to stop pursuing our dreams and relinquish our joy. To stop believing that there is a true love for us and to harden our hearts. To lose all faith in the miracle that is required in order to conceive the child we’ve prayed so hard for, to heal our bodies and rest our minds. Or to become so engulfed in bitterness that we push everyone away that tries to genuinely care for us then wonder why we’re alone. It is a vicious yet subtle cycle. Ultimately the goal is to have us so depressed and without hope, unable to understand why we’re even in that state that we accept it as the norm. That is what I call functional dysfunction.

I used to compare my normal life issues to those super tragedies of others and that was a huge mistake. Of course things could always be worse. But that is not how we are to deal with what is attempting to destroy us. This caused me to underestimate the effect those attacks were having on me. I thought I’d finished the fight because I was still breathing. I had survived. What I had to learn over time and what I want other women to realize is that, surviving is just the beginning. Experience is the greatest teacher and no one is more of an expert on how to survive what attacks you than you are. But you have to keep living because if you do not, that is when YOU begin to die.

For all those who checked on me and asked about my time away from Bubbling Brooke thank you. I survived and am ready to start living….again! I hope you all will do the same.

B