An Audience of One

About a week ago I was on Snap Chat after my workout per usual low-key venting. I felt I had been a bit mild in my posts not really wanting to offend anyone because my views on certain subjects can be counter cultural. For those who follow me on snap, y’all know I can go off about certain topics LOL! It is what happened mid vent session that once again put things into perspective for me as it relates to my “target audience”.  A friend of mine had been off social media and hadn’t gotten around to visiting Bubbling Brooke.  She binge read all of my posts and texted me her thoughts on each one. Can we say “on time”!!! I love confirmation!  God always sends confirmation and conviction when we need it most. It is up to us to take heed to it or not but that’s another post for another day.

The significance of her texts was not that others hadn’t commented on posts or texted me their feedback or that her opinion weighed so much more. It was that where I was at that very moment was a place of second guessing my abilities and my mission. I was wondering if the audience I was attempting to reach maybe was not the right audience, that maybe I needed rethink who I was talking to. Maybe I needed to conform to the more popular methods of blogging. Focusing on my wardrobe, hair, travel, politics etc. Afterall, those are things that I am interested in and eventually want to add to the layers of this platform. However, doing so would not help me determine who I was talking to. I’d still need to speak with an authentic transparency .

There is no glamour to my lifestyle. No matter how far I’ve traveled around the world or the restaurants I’ve dined at, or the designer clothes I wear. I’m a simple Houston woman who really just prefers to be off the scene. I’m not interested in contouring and highlights, my style of dress is more modest than it is trendy and sexy.  I don’t find myself to be very photogenic. I’m real awkward to be honest when it comes to picture taking. That in itself is a whole art! I don’t care what anyone says. Angles matter man!!  This does not make me opposed to anyone who may express opposite interests levels. In fact some of my favorite bloggers use their platform to speak on these topics providing details on outfits, hair and makeup, travel and still do so in an in-depth way that speaks to women by encouraging them to realize they’re popping! I benefit from them so much!  At the same time I’m often like “but what about this perspective?” Then I’m left searching.

That is when I realized I am my audience of one first and foremost.

I am talking to women who are like me in the sense that they’re not easily impressed with the lights and cameras of this world. We work hard, love hard, stay true to ourselves and to others despite how much we may battle feelings of insecurity, heartbreak or just being down right tired of the day to day feelings of defeat.  We may be different in our professions and marital status but keeping it real with ourselves is always first. We’ve fought for this level of comfort and it will literally cost us more than we can afford to compromise it in order to appeal to the likes of others. This means owning our feelings and continuously asking ourselves the “why” questions. Even about the seemingly easy decisions we make as far as our appearance and mannerisms go.

There is a reason I’m adamant about maintaining my self-confidence the way I do.

It was once non-existent.

So yes, when I decide to talk about what I choose not to put on my face daily it will always go deeper than the surface. When I talk about why I’m intentional about certain things I choose to wear or not to wear this isn’t to bash women who do not make the same decisions. It is because I learned and accept that I do have a responsibility to the men around me, although I am not responsible for how certain men will perceive or attempt to approach me.  What I can be sure is that I am not dressing in a way that convicts ME. I do not care to talk about my shoe closet regardless if I paid $50 or $500 for a pair. Not even about how much I do love them ALL. Because anyone who knows me knows that the shoe always comes first! When I talk about travels I want to share how I met a family in Belize with the sweetest little children who opened their space and offered their time to my best friend and I just because. I don’t always want to experience the five star hotel luxuries. That’s not living to me!

I have to go below the surface. It’s the only way I know how to be. Especially here.

These are positions I cannot be afraid to reveal because they may not be the most popular and there may be backlash from those who disagree or people may not want to read my blog because of it.  I’ve never been afraid to speak my mind or quickly let someone know they have me all the way messed up if they get out of line. At the same time I’ve also matured enough to not want to offend anyone. Bottom line is that my preference should not have anyone else pressed and if they do so be it. I want to be able to express my point of view and reasons behind the decisions I make in hopes that I will encourage other women to do the same on their own terms. Not by being persuasive, offensive or dogmatic in my approach. That’s the “influence” I desire.

What I am saying is that I am a woman, and yes I love to look my best but according to my preferences. I enjoy eating out and traveling like most of us. I shop too much and love a good ole party but Bubbling Brooke for me has to go deeper than that. I have to always keep in the forefront my reason for starting this blog. Who needed this the most? I did. And other women like me who find it almost impossible to not feel inadequate at times because we’re not dolled up daily and may not be the most beautiful in the eyes of the world. We may feel unaccomplished, or like we’re not doing our best. Our blogs, brands and businesses may not have this massive social media following. And the beauty of it all is that we’re more than ok with it because ultimately, even if there is only one person in the audience  that’s more than enough!

Thank you all for taking the time to read and  for all your comments. I appreciate you!

B

PSA | Planning Progress and Pressure

 

The past few weeks have been a blur for me. I have not gotten any type of routine down after moving out of my apartment of seven years. Although I have more space in my new home I still have not designated a “reflection area”. This is an issue for me because I produce best when I’m in my zone.  I’m easily distracted to say the least. Therefore, I must be separated from the noise. If I could improve in one area of my life it would definitely be my ability to “cancel out the noise”. Not just the volume of the television or music being played, but all the thoughts I am trying to process at one time. What I need to do at home, why I need to do it, rehearsing how I’m going to address someone, trying to determine how I’ll get all my  work done etc. Too many tabs are open at one time as they are for the majority of us women today irrespective of profession and or marital status.

My sister and a few of my friends are in the event planning business. Quite frankly, I do not see how they do it. Planning an event from start to finish, from conception to execution literally gives me anxiety. Planning is not my strongpoint. So much of who I am is being able to go with the flow even if the current suddenly changes. While this definitely has its benefits, it also makes it very difficult to stay focused on one task at a time. This blog is proving that to be even truer than I realized.  I have to be intentional about posting and what direction I want to go in. If you were to ask me what my goal is for Bubbling Brooke three , six  and nine months from now and how I plan on achieving those goals, I honestly couldn’t tell you the specifics. That’s a harsh reality but I acknowledge it so that I can overcome it. This isn’t because I do not have a vision. My vision has not changed. I started this blog with the intent to be as transparent as I can about the woman I’ve become and the journey to arrive at this point,  hoping to inspire other women along the way with hard truths, love and the joys I’ve discovered.  This will never change because it is the most authentic way I can be. What has to change is my approach or else I will not produce what I know I am capable of. I won’t’ reach the women I know need to be reached. I won’t grow in the areas where I’ve been stagnant.  Everything is resting on my ability to plan ahead and follow through.

At the same time, I cannot become so fixated on what the future will look like, that I neglect the necessary reflection on the progress I’ve already made.  Our society places so much focus on what still needs to be done. So much that we may not produce the fruit we should because we fail to see what our progress looks like. How effective can I be in the future without first recognizing what I’ve already accomplished? What am I building on? Bricks are layered not only set side by side.  When I realized my planning deficiency immediately I began setting goals. Well, the problem with that was, I didn’t know where to start. There was no flow to them. I was all over the place which was frustrating to say the least. Once I took a minute to actually put into perspective the goals I’ve already accomplished, the topics I’ve discussed and the feedback I’ve received, it became that much easier for me to set additional short-term goals.  Proper planning and progress reflection are both essential to dealing with the pressure of achieving the level of success determined by oneself .

Pressure is almost always self-inflicted initially. Outside pressure only becomes a factor when we have not taken the necessary steps towards the goal. When we’ve not done what we should have. This is true in both personal and professional areas of our lives. I find that in my professional life when I am asked to provide detail on a specific project, where I have not been as proactive as I should have been, the pressure seems to go from a normal 4 or 5 to a whole 10. Not because my boss is applying the pressure but simply because I failed to plan and assess my progress,  leaving me in a “not ready” state when asked to deliver.  Most of the time I stay on my toes though. We all know the saying “If you stay ready you won’t have to get ready”. I’ve had so many people ask me questions related to the vision tangibles of Bubbling Brooke that I was not prepared to answer. I guess part of me is surprised that I’m even being asked such specific questions like “do you plan on monetizing?”, “will you have any fashion and travel posts?”, “Will there be any features?”. Don’t get me wrong I have a constant tab open with those questions but my lack of planning, and progress assessment left me so lost. Furthermore, what I realized is that I have a responsibility to myself and those who support  me simply because they love me. As well as to those who believe in this purpose driven adventure for whatever their reason may be. It is a responsibility to see it through to fruition. To properly go about this thing with an execution that matches the passion. I thought just taking the leap was enough. I was okay with that small victory but really I was comfortable with it because it was all I was ready for.

I am totally out of my element in my house right now and in this blog arena. But at one point I am certain the butterfly must’ve thought the cocoon was the place of death. Instead we all now that its true purpose in all that makes it uncomfortable and even scary is transformation. It is beautifully designed that way as is this journey that I will continue on. Only now I know that it will require me to properly plan, evaluate my progress and handle pressure effectively so that I will stay ready.

My affirmation for the week is obvious

“I will stay ready so that I will not have to get ready”.

What are some of the ways you set goals and plan for the future?

BB

 

PSA: Just WIN!!

 

By now the world knows that once again the New England Patriots are Super bowl champions. Football isn’t my favorite sport but I am a sports fan. So, while I do not have any personal investment in the Atlanta Falcons or New England Patriots, I respect winners. Tom Brady’s name is synonymous with winning period.

Like most, you either love him or hate him. Isn’t that how it goes? No matter how successful he has been there’s someone who will try to discredit his achievements. I woke up with this on my mind as we start a new week. If we are going to go through life and set any type of goal for ourselves with the end result being success, we are going to have naysayers. There will be those people who no matter what you do, or how you do it will find fault in what you’ve worked your butt off to accomplish. And you know what, that’s probably the best way to know you’re doing something right. At the end of the day, all you got to do is win! Just win! Whatever that looks like for you…

We can learn a lot from Tom Brady’s road to success. He wasn’t a top pick in the draft. As a matter of fact the man was picked 199th in the sixth round! Now you do not have to know a lot about football to know that being picked 199th in anything is not something to be desired. Can you imagine the doubt that was settling in his mind at the time? Even if it was only for one second that one little seed of doubt could’ve changed his entire path had he chosen to believe it

Fast forward 16 years later, he’s a five time Super bowl champion and once again the MVP (Most Valuable Player) of the game. Some might argue he’s the greatest football player of all time not just the greatest QB to ever play the game. It’s a valid argument, not one I am prepared to debate.

What I am prepared to say this morning is that despite how much success he’s had in his career. It still will not be enough to silence those who refuse to acknowledge it or accept that he’s earned it. It never will be.

The same goes for us. We will never be able to please everyone, or prove to everyone that we deserve our success because we put in the work. Nah, someone gave it to us, or we cheated, or we must have thrown someone in the office under the bus to get the promotion. Even before the success comes to fruition there will be those who will only see us as that 199th pick and will feed the same doubt that we’re working so hard to overcome in our own minds.

I’ve come to a place where I realize that no matter the journey, no matter the obstacles and naysayers along the road to success that we will endure, there’s something impossible to deny, and that is winning! I hope this week each of you will make it a point to continue perfecting your craft and prove them wrong.

My affirmation this week is

“I believe in myself more than anyone else”

Take a page from Tom Brady’s book and win! Again and again and again and again…..

BB