An Audience of One

About a week ago I was on Snap Chat after my workout per usual low-key venting. I felt I had been a bit mild in my posts not really wanting to offend anyone because my views on certain subjects can be counter cultural. For those who follow me on snap, y’all know I can go off about certain topics LOL! It is what happened mid vent session that once again put things into perspective for me as it relates to my “target audience”.  A friend of mine had been off social media and hadn’t gotten around to visiting Bubbling Brooke.  She binge read all of my posts and texted me her thoughts on each one. Can we say “on time”!!! I love confirmation!  God always sends confirmation and conviction when we need it most. It is up to us to take heed to it or not but that’s another post for another day.

The significance of her texts was not that others hadn’t commented on posts or texted me their feedback or that her opinion weighed so much more. It was that where I was at that very moment was a place of second guessing my abilities and my mission. I was wondering if the audience I was attempting to reach maybe was not the right audience, that maybe I needed rethink who I was talking to. Maybe I needed to conform to the more popular methods of blogging. Focusing on my wardrobe, hair, travel, politics etc. Afterall, those are things that I am interested in and eventually want to add to the layers of this platform. However, doing so would not help me determine who I was talking to. I’d still need to speak with an authentic transparency .

There is no glamour to my lifestyle. No matter how far I’ve traveled around the world or the restaurants I’ve dined at, or the designer clothes I wear. I’m a simple Houston woman who really just prefers to be off the scene. I’m not interested in contouring and highlights, my style of dress is more modest than it is trendy and sexy.  I don’t find myself to be very photogenic. I’m real awkward to be honest when it comes to picture taking. That in itself is a whole art! I don’t care what anyone says. Angles matter man!!  This does not make me opposed to anyone who may express opposite interests levels. In fact some of my favorite bloggers use their platform to speak on these topics providing details on outfits, hair and makeup, travel and still do so in an in-depth way that speaks to women by encouraging them to realize they’re popping! I benefit from them so much!  At the same time I’m often like “but what about this perspective?” Then I’m left searching.

That is when I realized I am my audience of one first and foremost.

I am talking to women who are like me in the sense that they’re not easily impressed with the lights and cameras of this world. We work hard, love hard, stay true to ourselves and to others despite how much we may battle feelings of insecurity, heartbreak or just being down right tired of the day to day feelings of defeat.  We may be different in our professions and marital status but keeping it real with ourselves is always first. We’ve fought for this level of comfort and it will literally cost us more than we can afford to compromise it in order to appeal to the likes of others. This means owning our feelings and continuously asking ourselves the “why” questions. Even about the seemingly easy decisions we make as far as our appearance and mannerisms go.

There is a reason I’m adamant about maintaining my self-confidence the way I do.

It was once non-existent.

So yes, when I decide to talk about what I choose not to put on my face daily it will always go deeper than the surface. When I talk about why I’m intentional about certain things I choose to wear or not to wear this isn’t to bash women who do not make the same decisions. It is because I learned and accept that I do have a responsibility to the men around me, although I am not responsible for how certain men will perceive or attempt to approach me.  What I can be sure is that I am not dressing in a way that convicts ME. I do not care to talk about my shoe closet regardless if I paid $50 or $500 for a pair. Not even about how much I do love them ALL. Because anyone who knows me knows that the shoe always comes first! When I talk about travels I want to share how I met a family in Belize with the sweetest little children who opened their space and offered their time to my best friend and I just because. I don’t always want to experience the five star hotel luxuries. That’s not living to me!

I have to go below the surface. It’s the only way I know how to be. Especially here.

These are positions I cannot be afraid to reveal because they may not be the most popular and there may be backlash from those who disagree or people may not want to read my blog because of it.  I’ve never been afraid to speak my mind or quickly let someone know they have me all the way messed up if they get out of line. At the same time I’ve also matured enough to not want to offend anyone. Bottom line is that my preference should not have anyone else pressed and if they do so be it. I want to be able to express my point of view and reasons behind the decisions I make in hopes that I will encourage other women to do the same on their own terms. Not by being persuasive, offensive or dogmatic in my approach. That’s the “influence” I desire.

What I am saying is that I am a woman, and yes I love to look my best but according to my preferences. I enjoy eating out and traveling like most of us. I shop too much and love a good ole party but Bubbling Brooke for me has to go deeper than that. I have to always keep in the forefront my reason for starting this blog. Who needed this the most? I did. And other women like me who find it almost impossible to not feel inadequate at times because we’re not dolled up daily and may not be the most beautiful in the eyes of the world. We may feel unaccomplished, or like we’re not doing our best. Our blogs, brands and businesses may not have this massive social media following. And the beauty of it all is that we’re more than ok with it because ultimately, even if there is only one person in the audience  that’s more than enough!

Thank you all for taking the time to read and  for all your comments. I appreciate you!

B