Relationships, religion and politics are my three least favorite topics to discuss in general! They to me are the most intimate and important conversations we can have with one another. They can get real deep real quick. Btween Us was the original name I wanted for the blog but opted out. Instead I decided that I’d share my thoughts on those topics in this category!
Relationships of any kind are complex even in their simplicity. From family to friendships and of course those involving the one we “love”. Each holds a piece of us that must be nurtured. That nurturing begins and ends with us! It’s all perspective.
Our family is responsible for the first emotions we experience in this life! They’re our first joys, reason for laughter, tears and heartbreaks. I know I’ve had my share of responsibility for the latter. Nevertheless, every other relationship is built off the foundation family lays. My parents are divorced and I have two sisters. I’m the infamous middle child. Make of that what you please. I have some difficulty explaining the dynamics of our relationship. But it’s that dynamic that for me makes it great! We’re close but we each live our own lives. We’re all so different but the same! I can’t help but to conclude that how I view relationships of any kind is because of the bond I have with my family. For every poor decision someone has forgiven me for I learned the magnitude of forgiveness. For every tear, they’ve comforted me behind I realized what genuineness can do to a hurting person. For all my flaws, they’ve accepted about me I’ve experienced unconditional love.
Friendships, like family are our first of many! They’re just as important. In that the bond reaches a place in us empowering the relationships to build and break. I’ve been blessed to have had some good friends in these 33 years. I do not remember there being a time where I felt as if I did not have at least one friend. Looking back, I realize how crucial that was.
The hardest topic I’ve ever wrote about was the end of a relationship. Even though my siblings and I have argued and said hurtful things, I’ve been extremely upset with my parents and have had my heart broken. The hardest relationship demise for me to overcome was the one I had with my best friend. That’s one kind of relationship that ends for a young girl or woman that I believe are the hardest to overcome. It’s the fact that after being everything they’re no longer in your life. Whether it be a bitter ending or just one that ran its course. They hurt. The most.
It’s one of those lessons you may be messed up behind for a while. Experiencing all kinds of emotions trying to figure out how this happened. We are dependent on others for so much that it takes separation to understand that codependency is real.
I don’t understand women who desire not to have in the words of Forest Gump as he described Bubba, one ” best good friend” We can live without a man but not a girl-friend in my opinion. I’ve learned that even with sisters you still may need that other companion who you trust with everything. Your highs and lows, heartaches and true loves! There’s a certain kind of peace you experience in knowing that there’s this other girl/woman not related to you who is ok with all your crazies and attitudes and understands your fears, related to your insecurities! No matter how different the two of you may be there’s a best good friend that makes trusting easy.
When that ends. It’s a deep hurt. Confusion may even set in but what comes out of it is something you must cherish. Something that if you never experience it again there was a love you shared that at the end of the day may last a lifetime. I often use this quote from a song by Tupac called “Unconditional Love”
“With you and me it’s all “G” we could never be enemies, cause you’ve been such a good friend to me”
The foundation laid by my family relationship plays a huge part in how I nurture all other relationships. No matter the degree of friendship I may have experienced with someone, just because our season comes to an end I don’t forget who was a good friend to me. There’s so much bickering and competition amongst women these days that it may be time for us to let down those guards and open ourselves to genuine friendships. Ones that feed our souls and fill our hearts with something irreplaceable. Even if only for a season.
Be a good friend this week. Someone’s depending on you!
BB
